Depressed & Lost

I really wanted to blog today.. for some unknown reason... I'm wondering why..... *pauses* but look.. I wanted to blog but I can't seem to find words to construct a thought. I keep on pausing every now and then thinking what to type or... what. ever. This unusual blockage of thoughts in my head is driving me a little bit insane for crying out loud. I am beginning to loose my equilibrium.. and I wanted it back because I feel soo.. lost? Oh what the heck am I saying?! goodness..~*

*sigh*Did you know that earlier today I felt so... Okay? Yeah, eventhough I'm not feeling well because of some feverish temperature. but at least I was okay... but now... I dunno.. I'm somewhat depressed... So depressed that I wanted to cry out loud while singing a particular song out loud. Geez, I'd really do that if only I will not going to disturb people here in our house who are practically sleeping at the very moment I'm typing this. Funny ain't it? Man, am i that pathetic? My depression's getting worst than I thought... oh life... what did i ever do to deserve such life...

The first sem's about to end and I'm still not satisfied with what i have done for the past months. I feel ashamed for not putting all the effort that I can to my work... I could have done it better. Maybe I'll do that next sem... meaning... maximizing my time for school and to minimize the use of internet. Blah. I'm fond of grounding myself huh? lol. done that before.. I can do it again.. I HOPE. Oiya, I have made 9pm my plate time. LMAO. meaning I'll start making plates by 9 and sneak some time after that to go online.. lmao.